Actor Idris Elba is off the market and with these tips you possibly could be too. I don't consider myself a dating expert.
But in my circle of friends I have become the go-to person to ask about which sites are better and to decode the confusing lingo. I can also be relied on for a hair-raising story or two. After waking up this week to the devastating news that Idris Elba will never marry again, I have resigned myself to going to the grave single.
As there is No Longer Any Hope for my romantic endeavours, I will share some of the things I learnt before I quietly slink off into perpetual singlehood. I'm a fairly recent convert to OkCupid and Tinder.
Before that I used to take my chances meeting men in real life.
At that point I decided if the internet was good enough for searching for cheap long-haul tickets, it was good enough for looking for the next person I want to watch Game of Thrones cuddled up next to.
Given that there is still a gender pay gap between men and women, the man who made you leave your house should never expect the pretty one to reach for her wallet.
If you factor in how much Mac lipstick costs, not to mention nice shoes, tasteful accessories and Uber, then technically the lady is out of pocket before the first morsel arrives. Debate your cheap friends about this because I am not entertaining this nonsense.
Firstly, the real danger South African women face every day from men means going to a stranger's house to meet is a terrible idea. Secondly, why set the bar so low?
Picture a few months down the line, when you want to attend the art show everyone is buzzing about and your significant other prefers to stay on the couch and binge watch series instead Why aren't they even trying to look friendly? How do we know they have teeth if they don't show them?
Who told them that mugshot-looking pictures are appealing?